Do you really love your ex that much till you cant let yourself go?

 

erm....no actually...

at least not her...

i like the time we are together...but that the past...

i like the way she is...till i really know about her...

what can i tell about her, what will she tell other about me?

no idea, but i'm glad that i'm not interested about it...

v, I might talking to myself in my blog most of the time...

but i hurt no one in this way...

you wrote that how sad you are after reading my blog...

so sorry, i'm not buying that...

i know you well enough to understand the meaning of the b word...

i'm talking to myself when i'm emo...

i write it out in word when i'm sad or unpleasant to tell other...

unlike what you doing...

but seriously...

i'm glad to know you happy all this time...i do...

but what make me feel even better is...you are out of my life...

there is once i felt like i'm going to put all  those things in word to tell other about what you did...

but luckily...i didn't...

i always tell other when they ask about you...' she is a good girl, just not suit me' i said...

guess what...no one believe that...

most of them knows...i guess...

i heard a lot of story about you...

well...you are still who you are...as expected...

hahaha....

if i think i'm going to tell other to shut their mouth from asking me the same things...

i think i'll answer them...' I'm sorry, i have no memories about her ' 

hmmm...should i?

v....i'll be glad to know when you really found what you wan deep in your heart...

but i'll be more happy if i'll never heard from you any more...

stop pretending what you aren't...i had heard enough of your story....

just leave the hell out of here...

" I'm not nothing, but you are "

it didnt make me feel better when i write this out, cuz i'm at the moment i left you

L.O.V.E

For all of the time... that i try to make your smile

for making you think that i was worth to holding for...

so your love would be mine, and only mine...

for sending you love and holding your hand...

to give you all i have...but till I notice that no one was there to hold my hand...

love had made me blind...

I’m so sorry that I love you...

so sorry that I fell through

so sorry i was falling in love with you...

I’m sorry that my dream came true...

sorry that I'm not the one...

for all that i have done for you...

I just  wish that i did make it right...

cuz I'm sorry that i loved you...

sorry that i needed you...

sorry that i hold you tight...

i still remember...

how you make me fall in love and telling me goodbye...

sorry for being the one that cry hard in ...

it was just my love, mine alone and it accidentally passed us by....

for giving me every thing that i dreamed and taking it back when i started to believe...

dont be sorry for wasting my time...

cuz i found what i need...

and i'm better without you...

dont sorry that you hurt me...

just i'm fault to fall in...

and you dont deserve any from me...

apology now after all of this time...

ain't going to make any difference tonight...

your sorry won't t help open my mind...

cuz i know you well enough to understand you word...

cuz i know you much better then i think i'm...

and cuz there no heart left...

just let the past remain how it is...

telling your bad is not my style...

smth is better to be unspoken...

you not worth for me to spoil my own...

you can stay as now as you like to...

but pls stay a way from me...

as you always said, 'i'm allergic to fucker' too

the present, ain't for make good...

it just smth that i wanna put in the end of the story...

not ours....just mine...


keep it or throw it.is up to you...

is none of my business...

i'll live better without you and better than you...

i do truly  love you that time...but not any more...

sorry if i sound mean...

i just cant found any reason to treat you nice...

especially those i dont even care for...

dont ever said i had changed...just you never pay attention to who i'm

i'm sorry that...

' L.O.V.E ' is no longer a feeling, it just a word...

sorry that i love you...

MBTI test

MBTI的全名是Myers-Briggs Type Indicator。它是一种迫选型、自我报告式的性格评估理论模型，用以衡量和描述人们在获取信息、作出决策、对待生活等方面的心理活动规律和性格类型。

心理学认为，“性格”是一种个体内部的行为倾向，它具有整体性、结构性、持久稳定性等特点，是每个人特有的，可以对个人外显的行为、态度提供统一的、内在的解释。

and here is the result xD

才储分析：您的性格类型倾向为“ ENFJ ”(外向 直觉 情感 判断)

温情，有同情心，反应敏捷，有责任感。非常关注别人的情绪、需要和动机。善于发现他人的潜能，并希望能帮助他们实现。能够成为个人或群体成长和进步的催化剂。忠诚，对赞美和批评都能做出积极地回应。友善好社交。在团体中能很好地帮助他人，并有鼓舞他人的领导能力。

ENFJ型的人热爱人类，他们认为人的感情是最重要的。而且他们很自然地关心别人，以热情的态度对待生命，感受与个人相关的所有事物。由于他们很理 想化，按照自己的价值观生活，因此ENFJ型的人对于他们所尊重和敬 佩的人、事业和机构非常忠诚。他们精力充沛、满腔热情、富有责任感、勤勤勤恳恳、锲而不舍。 ENFJ型的人具有自我批评的自然倾向。然而，他们对他人的情感具有责任心，所以ENFJ型的人很少在公共场合批评人。他们 敏锐地意识到什么是（或不是）合适的行为。他们彬彬有礼、富有魅力、讨人喜欢、深谙社会。ENFJ型的人具有平和的性格与忍耐力，他们长于外交，擅长在自 己的周围激发幽默感。他们是天然的领导者，受人欢迎而有魅 力。他们常常得利于自己口头表达的天份，愿意成为出色的传播工作者。 ENFJ型的人在自已对情况感受的基础上做决定，而不是基于事实本身。他们对显而易见的事物之外的可能性，以及这些可能性以怎样的方式影响他人 感兴趣。 ENFJ型的人天生具有条理性，他们喜欢一种有安排的世界，并且希望别人也是如此。即使其他人正在做决定，他们还是喜欢把问题解决了。 ENFJ型的人富有同情心和理解力，愿意培养和支持他人。他们能很好地 理解别人，有责任感和关心他人。由于他们是理想主义者，因此他们通常能看到别人身上的优点。

您适合的领域有：培训、咨询、教育、新闻传播、公共关系、文化艺术

您适合的职业有：（该类型存在的盲点和发展建议见完整分析报告）

· 人力资源培训主任

· 销售经理

· 小企业经理

· 程序设计员

· 生态旅游业专家

· 广告客户经理

· 公关专业人士

· 协调人

· 交流总裁

· 作家／记者

· 非营利机构总裁

· 杂志编辑

· 电视制片人

· 市场专员

· 社会工作者

· 人力资源管理

· 职业指导顾问

· 心理咨询工作者    现在就去心理问题解答区实习下！

· 大学教师（人文学科类）

· 教育学、心理学研究人员

· 撰稿人

· 节目主持人（新闻、采访类）

· 公共关系专家

· 社会活动家

· 文艺工作者

· 平面设计师

· 画家

· 音乐家

hahaha...after i get the result

and i bring it to discuss with kuma sc...

the first word he make me laugh like hell...

i bet you will never guessed what he said....

he said 'ur type totally 一个好人'....= =llll

hahaha...here you go....my buddy...

hahaha...such a nice guy to be around with...

and so....we started to 'kill' each other with own result...

*open fire xD

haha...i dono how he feel about his result....

but what i wanna tell him is....

' SC, you are a good guy and i know a lot of ppl out there is agreed with me...

dont worry so much ' you know what '....

you will find it one day, just soon or later '

hahaha....well, i better keep my mouth shut before they coming back with tons of bullet...

xD

*tell me about my test if you dont agree with it

limited edition...of me

How do you feel when you call me 'Bii ' for the very first time?...

is it just a normal term for you to address a guy?...

How do you feel when you hug me for the first time?...

is it just a way you show friendly to other?...

 

How do you feel when you kiss me for the first time?...

is it just a normal behave of you?...

you have no idea on all those you did...

i dont really know you after all...

but i sure you dont know how it is for me too...

you make me smile like i'm the only guy in your world when you call me bii...

just by calling me bii could cheer my day out of the blue...

your hug is so powerful that able to hold me together when i'm were going to fall apart...

put me up, keep me on my foot when i'm knock down by reality...

your kiss melt my heart like a candy...

make me felt that you are who i'm searching for my whole life...

make me feel like...you are my everything...

you are so wonderful, you are so....everything...

either that is a joke god put on us, or it was you fooling me at the beginning...

 

time flew like wind...touch my face at the moment it leave...

few months past...just like that...

i bear with you as you ask me to...

just to make us end with a happy ending...

and yet you cant stand for it...asking ' why you bear with me'

i smile...even it so ironic...

it was a fairy tale if you ask other...

i do feel the same, if you ask me...

but you know...deep down inside...

it ironic...for those excuses you told me...

for those excuses to break up...

for those thing you wrote...

it just simply ironic... 

the pain you mark on my heart...

is like a tattoo...it's irremovable...

all l i ever asked is your love...

i tried to gave you what i have...

but you tossed it in the trash...

girl what you don't understand is...

i'd catch a grenade for you...

throw my hand on a blade for you...

 i'd jump in front of a train for you...

you know I'd do anything for you...

I would go through all this pain you gave me....

and take a bullet straight through my brain...

Yes...

I would die for you girl...

but you won't do the same...

if my body was on fire you'll watch me burn down in flames...

watch me burn down into ashes...

you said you loved me baby...i wouldn't believe it anymore...

not you...

cause you never, ever, ever did baby... 

i will tear my own heart apart...rather then letting you hurt me...

i'll move on...

thank you for making me what i'm today...

i forgive you and i will forget about you...

i will still remember the song we heard together...

but i'll not remember how you are...

i will still remember how crazy i'm on the road for that day...

but i'll not remember why i do that for...

i'll not address other 'baby' not becuz it remind me about you...

but becuz i care for the only one i love....

and call her baby when i know she do serious with me too... 

i deserve better...

at least to someone who really treasure me...

girl...still remember the shoe i throw away?...

is a limited edition...isn't it..

is that why you care it so much?...

just becuz the word of ' limit edition '?....

i'm also a limited edition....

I'll be fine

Girl you know,deep down inside me...

it cuts like a knife...

cutting through me every single minute...piece by piece

my sadness, my broken heart... and my miss on you...

make me suffer like i'm living without any meaning...

but i'm too proud to show it...

Pain in my chest feel like i lost my breath...

but you doesnt know it...

so many things that i'm just dying to say, but i cant seen to tell you...

it's killing me, to know that you wants to leave...

but i'm not gonna beg you to stay any longer ...

cuz i got my pride, i'm not gonna cry...

there won't be no tears falling from these eyes...

I don't need you to see, how my tear will be...

cuz you never know how much my heart bleed...

it's killing me with your sweet smile in him arm...

letting you go, letting myself free...shall i?...

i believe i'll be better to be alone than begging for your love... 

this is what i'll say...

Girl, i'll be fine...

You dont have to ask me if i will be okay...

i'll said i'll be fine again again and aigain...

You aint got to tell me that we can still be friends...

cuz i know deep in myself that i cant be your friend...

i cant hold myself any longer to see you like this...

i'll be fine, said i'll be fine...
  

i cant believe, that i fell so deep in you...

i let my heart open so wide to let you in...

and this is how you prove your love to me...

 ...i gotta try, i'll try to keep our love deep inside...

some words, is still better left unspoken...

hidden deep for myself...

cuz i'll be fine...

Dreamer

girl...i never expect i'll argue with you last night...


never think of it...


what happened last night...


was out of my wildest imagination...


never think i'll be like that...


not even i'm in bad mood or anger...


none of the ppl i know will ever believe how i'm last night...


not even myself...


first time rushing out like that...


first time didnt give a damn on how i look...


first time treat you like that...


first time drive like that...


i'm crazy last night...


i'm...


baby...i were hoping things to be fix...


but you driving me crazy...


i dono who i'm last night, and i dono who you are...


not anymore...


what you said last night...


fell deep in to my heart and soul...


it didnt hurt me like how i expected...


i'm stronger than last time?...


or i still believe?...


....no idea...


but i know...i'm not silly that i love you...


i know what you did,it hurt me, but i never blame you...


i know you lying, but i never ask you for the reason...


i know about you and him, and i never ask more... 


i know you dont love me, and i never care more for myself...


i know you leaving, i never wanna let you go...


doing this, all just becuz i care...i care about you more than myself


our time is short, like firework...


shine at the vy beginning...


and dim for the rest of it life...


happiness do stay between us...


but, just before we notice...it leave...


mayb i know, somewhere deep in my soul


that 'love' never lasts...


i have always lived like this...


keeping a comfortable distance with love...


up until that day...


making my first step...


i try to reassemble everything...


try to believe in our love will end like a fairy tale...


think that you will be an exception...


think that you are worth to risk for...


you have been the one for me...


you have been my dream...


I'm a dreamer...when i wake...


you cant break my spirit...


is my dream you take...


and as you move on, dont remember me...


remember how we use to be...

I've seen you cry... I've seen you smile...

I've watched you sleeping for a while...

in my dream...

i'll be the father of your child...

i'll spent my lifetime with you...

we had our doubts but we end out fine...

i said 'I love you' in my dream, and i know it true...

i had a tight grip on reality...

but i cant let go what's in front of me here...

i know you're leaving...

but when i awake in the morning

i always hope...

you'll leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream...

i hold you ...

i'm sorry baby girl....


i do wanna help you...


i do...


i didnt means to make the condition worst...


i just care too much about you...


i hope you understand about it...


i do...


i try so hard to fix things up, and you knew i'm real for that...


serious, no lie in between...


i'm over worry about you...i know...


but try to think in my shoe, baby...


when you said you wanna go so far...how i feel?


i'm worry...


i'm waiting you to tell me the detail...


i'm waiting you to ask me for the trip together...


you didnt...


and i didnt ask...


cuz i believe you'll tell...


but you didnt...


i started to think too much about it...


what if bad things happened?...


how can i reach by your side at the very first minute?...


i scare you not able to take good care of yourself...my girl...


i scare you get hurt....


i do...


until today....mum told me a story


until today only i notice, i miss something...


i were worry all the time...


fight my chance day and night...


fix things up as hard as possible...


stay confidence and believe in fate...


that we are make for pair,for each other...


even i went to low profile for every things...


and yet...


i overlook...


till today, just now...


only i know what you want now...


...freedom...


i overlook that...love cant hold tight like now...


you need freedom and i need secure...


need you...


that is what we fighting for...


from begin till now...


you dont need time...you need freedom...


i hold you to tight...


that's why you stress...am i?


i'm sorry that i didnt notice it early...


but now i'm...


...i still believe you will be back baby...


i believe i'll be a better man or you...


....i do appreciated every chance given...


believe me...i'm...


and sorry that i understand it late...


but never too late...


now i trust you, i feel you...and i know you better...


at this very moment...i'm afraid of losing you...


i'm so silly...hate myself...


for missing smth so detail...


i'm sorry baby...


i love you 

How it start...my fairy tale

This is how it started...

our love story...

my fairy tale...

our love is like a drama...

sweet and warm...

this is my life to begin with...

our love is begin with a chapter from your blog and an end of mine...

and this is how it go...

................................................................................................

hey u ppl !!

curious why u treat me so nice

curious all u did

>.<

a milky make me confuse

a milky heal my emo

a milky hold my heart

a milky make me laugh

dunno since from when

feel comfortable with u

without u

rather jus stay at home

don wan step out my house

=/

but i knew

yr heart

still got her

no blame

no angry

cos im the same

2 man in my heart

1 is my ex

1 is the ppl hurt me recently when i started to trust him

and love him * my ex too

>.<

not easy to fall in again

the problem is not u

but is me

u cute enough

but i scare

once i step in

i will not stop

but i still scare bout hurt

cos now

still in pain

u wait for her 

til now edy 9 months

anything change u?

>.<

why don keep on

mayb we jus confuse now

i pray hard to god

let us more clear with this

cos im not able to get any hurt again

>.<

sorry for my selfish

but i really need more confidence

if u do love me

prove me u r ~

a simple easy theory

u emo cos of those boys around me?

i jus wan a tress not a forest

>.< get it?

but if u r not

jus hold yr step

don complicated all the thing

>.<

mizz yea~ 

......................................................................................

you touch my heart and touch my soul...

change my life and all my goal...

and you knew it...

you had me on my first step...

and decided to end my loneliness...

cuz i know you will cure my sadness no matter how...

and i'll be fine to leave everything behind...

fall for you...

so, this is what i'll said...

................................................................................................

Last Chapter

该结束了,在你离开后独自度过了多少个一百天.就连寂寞是什么感觉都已经分不清了.

是我自卑吗?我总觉得我配不上任何人.给不了任何人幸福. 我没有特殊的才能,没有吸引人的外表,也没有能干的地方...基本上是可以称为 ' 一事无成 ' .我真的有资格恋爱吗? 

基本上我还是一个大小孩,爱撒娇,爱胡闹,幼稚不懂事...当我的另一半好比当一个保姆.真地会有人要吗? 生活平淡的日子又有多少个人可以撑得过去呢? 好听的名词我就被称为 ' 乖乖仔 ' 难听的现代词 就称为 ' 宅男 '....我也会有童话般美丽的爱情故事吗?

看着你,幸福快乐...死缠难打也不是我的作风.该放手了...心里恋的不是你,不知何时开始,心里爱着一个不认识的人...没见过,没看过...却感觉到她的存在.她出现了吗? 是她吗?

与其讨好别人，不如武装自己；
与其逃避现实，不如笑对人生；

与其听风听雨，不如昂首出击！ 

很有意思的一番话,不是吗? 你在对的时间,遇到错的我.不是你的错,问题在于我...谢谢你曾经爱过我.我在这段时间里.错过太多太多了...如今有一个这样的她出现了.我不确定我就是她要的那一杯茶,我不确定我配得上她 但我确定,我不想错过那样的一个她. 

因为爱过，所以慈悲；因为懂得，所以宽容。

第100篇了... 一切都结束了.

................................................................................................

i did prove myself.

i did do my best...

i did everything i could...

just to make you believe in me...

just to make our story full of happiness...

but i could never accomplish it all by myself...

so you lent me your hand...

and make it perfect...

make it a fairy tale to tell our child....

 

things that you do not know

symbol of smile...is usually used by me...

but i'm not someone...

i dont like to be address other then what you usually call me...

i'm so happy when you call me ' my boy ' for the first time...

i'm so excited  when you call me  ' dear ' for the first time...

i'm feel so deep when you call me ' bii ' for the first time...

and from that second onward, i never like you call me beside of bii...

yes... 

i do blog about you...and only for you...

what do you means 'nothing change'...

what are we now?...a lot of ppl asked...

they care for us so so much...

but...me, myself also cant answer this question...

cuz i really dono...

what relation are we?....

as my last call in my mind...

i'm your boy...

you never tell me in front of my face for what we are now...

yes girl...i'm stubborn...

cuz i care so much about you...

and i would fight my chance every time and day....

i wount care and wount believe anything you do online...

cuz i believe in you...the real you i know deep in my heart...

so i wouldn't believe...

not a thing if you didnt tell in my face....

do you know...

i already get use to your life style...

your attitude...

your temper... 

and those boys around you...

......

girl...how your life lately? 

i miss you....

i wanna see your everyday...

i wanna keep you with me everyday...

bring you with me where ever i go....

do you know the different between me and them? 

.....

i hope to watch harry potter with you...

i plan the day with you for so long time...

but i guess i'm not able to make it...m i?

girl...

i will wait for you...

so...

catch up with me....alright?

a lot of thing to share, with you...

becuz a lot of things you dont know 

dont let me go...

if you think letting me go will make me feel better...

then you're wrong...

then only way to make me feel better is hold my hand tight and face the problem together...

cuz when you with me...i'll be much more stronger...

cuz when you with me...i know how i can fight without anything trouble me in my mind...

cuz when you with me...i know ' i love you ' from you is weight more then thousand words of support...

cuz when you with me...i know you are real to me...and i love you as much you do

i'll be your man...so stay with me...

dont lie that you dont care about me 

dont lie to yourself....

dont hide yourself...

cuz you know you love me and i do the same...

some one to miss...

is holiday today...

many things that i plan to do it with you....

shopping,dinner,movie...any things you name it...

you know i would love to give my time to you....

i would like to bring you with me for my family dinner...

a lot to share...a lot to tell.... 

thousand of word in my mind

but....

i....cant find a single word to tell you how much i miss you...

not a single word can match my huge feeling toward you...

do you know that...

if i were a fish, you are my water...

without you, i'm hardly survive...

if i were bird, you are my wind...

without you, flying high is meaningless...

without you...

life is getting harder...

heart feel heavier...

even....

smile seem to be no meaning beside of pretending....

just becuz you not around...

happiness means nothing if you are not here to share with me...

love make me stronger day by day when you around....

but it killing me every single moment when you leaving me...

1days together with you is equal to 1 hour without you...

and that 1 hour is not easy to go through...

i have my life...

my job, my work.....

my family....

and my son....

there are all very important...

just dono when, you slip into my heart...

and here you go...you replace everything with your shadow...

your smile is now every where of my heart...

when i saw your status change from single into in complicated...

my heart racing so damn fast, but my mind is calm...cuz i believe in you 

i did....

and that's why i'm freaking happy after you change back to single....

why can i calm my mind?

cuz i believe every things you told me before...

those things you tell me face to face...

' take good care of you ' the promises i made...not only to you...

i promises to her also, that give me 1 extra reason to fight...

is been a while that i didnt stay awake till i saw sun shine...

just to wait you back home from your night activity ...

it remind me on the first time i did...

waiting you to back home and watching to wake up from the dream with a smile...

is what i willing to do for the rest of my life...

i love my life and i love you more...

hope to hold you hand like we use to be...

About girl in that photo

I still remember what she wear on our first meet...

a lovely black dress...

she is so independent, brave and lovely...

everything of her is so fine...like an angel...

she is so beautiful...

so breathtaking...

she's independent,she can work things out even she was alone for the job...

she's brave enough to stand up for thing that she know is right...

she's care for the1 she love, friend, family... 

she is 1 fine lady...

that's the girl i fall into...

and she also the girl make me feel like she is the one i wanna take care for the rest of my life...

why?...

is funny to tell...

cos i know her...

no much,but i know...

she is afraid of lonely...that why she rather go out more than stay at home...

she not a ply girl...she just just need attention, she wan care form others to warm her little heart...

she care for her friend most...because friends are the one who gone through so many things with her...

thk...sun and apple...

happy, she will show on her face with a breathtaking smile...

sad, she will keep only for herself, stress herself... 

but is so cute of her face at that time...like blur blur de...

give her time and she will solve and share everything of her...

i'm glad when she did told me about her...

i like to heard her talking non stop...is really enjoyable...believe me...

but when she angry...she will cross her arm in front of her...

she wanna be alone...just let her solve by herself ba...cos she can do it...

she like milo a lot, but try not to let her drink cold drinks.... 

not good for her body, and she didnt knew how to take care herself more....

i do bring first aid when going out with her...     

cos her is so careless, always hurt herself...

pain in my heart is always greater than pain on her body...

she not really like to eat...she just enjoy the moment when she with you...

i love that moment too...

she like garden, park or play ground more than shopping most of the time...

she like to eat tomyam...but cant too over...

otherwise she will gastric at night...

she like to buy cloth, but it also something to be happy with...

'buying new cloth is just to show you and make you proud' she said...and i'm glad...

go shopping with her is really enjoyable...wait her changing, holding hand walking among ppl...

what a memorable moment... 

her favorite...teddy's dream...

a small drop on the things she like, can make her hug for a whole day...

she just like a child...

she need care...

she need love...

that the girl i'm in love with...

i hope she is mine, my responsible...but do take care of her if she with you...

no why...just because i love her...


you may say i dono her, but this is her...the girl i know